Barnaby Button and the Wobbly Wisteria School

Barnaby Button woke with a jolt. His stomach felt like a washing machine full of wobbly jelly. Today was THE day. His first day at Wobbly Wisteria School. He peered over the edge of his bed, where his best friend, Bernard the Badger, lay snoozing. Bernard was a stuffed badger, soft and worn, with one button eye missing. Barnaby hugged him tight.

“Bernard,” Barnaby whispered, “what if the school building tries to eat me? Or what if the teachers make us do arithmetic with actual, live octopuses?” Bernard offered no advice, just a soft, furry presence. Barnaby sighed. He tried to get dressed, but his socks seemed to have a mind of their own, one striped and one polka-dotted.

Downstairs, breakfast was a disaster. His toast, usually a friendly square, looked like a giant, grumpy monster with jam fangs. Barnaby poked it suspiciously. His dad, a man with perpetually rumpled hair, chuckled. “Don’t worry, Barnaby-boo. School is full of adventures!” Barnaby wasn’t convinced. Adventures often involved dragons, or at least very tall slides.

The walk to school felt like marching into the unknown. Every tree seemed to whisper warnings, every cloud looked like a frowning face. Barnaby clutched Bernard so tightly, the badger’s fur was almost flattened. Then, he saw it: Wobbly Wisteria School. It wasn't eating anyone, but it certainly looked… wobbly.

The school building was a riot of bright, cheerful colors, but its sign, "Wobbly Wisteria School," hung a little askew. A huge, ancient wisteria vine twisted around the entrance, its purple flowers drooping like sleepy eyelids. Barnaby imagined the whole building might just… sway. He swallowed hard, his jelly-stomach doing double flips.

At the school door stood a very tall lady with bright pink spectacles perched on her nose. She had a smile so wide, Barnaby thought it might reach her ears. This must be Ms. Gigglesworth. “Welcome, welcome, little sprout!” she boomed, her voice like a happy trumpet. She then spotted Bernard. “Oh, what a splendid… badger! Does he have a name?”

Barnaby mumbled, “Bernard.” Ms. Gigglesworth giggled. “Well, Bernard, you’re welcome too! Come on in, Barnaby!” She ushered him inside. The classroom was a whirlwind of colors and sounds. Artworks plastered the walls, some looking like abstract spaghetti. Mismatched chairs sat around tables, and a reading corner overflowed with beanbags.

Ms. Gigglesworth clapped her hands, a sound like two happy pancakes. “Class, this is Barnaby Button! Let’s give him a big, wobbly welcome!” A few kids waved, some giggled. Barnaby felt his cheeks turn as red as a fire truck. He tried to find a seat, his feet feeling like they belonged to someone else.

He stumbled towards an empty chair, right next to a girl with bright blue streaks in her hair and glittery shoes. She looked up and offered him a tiny, shiny button. “Hi! I’m Luna Sparkletoes,” she whispered. From across the room, a boy with perpetually messy hair made a funny, squishy face at Barnaby. This was Gus Grumbles.

“Alright, little artists!” Ms. Gigglesworth announced, holding up a paintbrush. “Today, we’re painting our favorite imaginary creatures! The sillier, the better!” Barnaby stared at his blank paper. His imaginary creature, a three-headed fluffy griffin, suddenly seemed too complicated. He reached for the paint, his hand trembling slightly.

Suddenly, his elbow bumped a pot of glitter. WHOOSH! A cloud of iridescent sparkle exploded, showering over the table and, most spectacularly, all over Gus Grumbles. Gus, who had been busy painting a monster with seven eyes, looked up, now shimmering like a disco ball.

Gus blinked, then slowly looked down at his sparkly arms. A moment of silence hung in the air. Then, Gus let out a booming laugh. “Whoa! I’m a glitter-monster!” he declared, wiggling his fingers. Luna Sparkletoes giggled, then helped Barnaby clean up the glittery mess. Barnaby felt a tiny smile creep onto his face.

Snack time arrived, and Barnaby cautiously pulled out his star-shaped sandwich. Gus, still faintly sparkly, leaned over. “Want to trade? I’ve got a mystery meat sandwich. It might be a dinosaur!” Barnaby politely declined, but a tiny giggle escaped him. Gus’s sandwich did look rather prehistoric.

Ms. Gigglesworth then suggested a “Silly Sound” game. “Who can make the funniest noise?” she challenged. Children made sounds like burping hippos and squeaky shoes. Barnaby, encouraged by Luna’s enthusiastic clapping, took a deep breath. He made a surprisingly good, high-pitched “squeaky door that needs oiling” sound.

The classroom erupted in laughter. Luna Sparkletoes laughed so hard, a tiny snort of juice came out of her nose. She turned even redder than Barnaby. Even Ms. Gigglesworth had to wipe a tear from her eye. Barnaby felt a warm fizz in his chest. Maybe school wasn't so bad after all.

Recess! Barnaby hesitated at the door, still a little unsure about the wild outdoors. But Gus and Luna were already in the playground, darting between swings. “Come on, Barnaby!” Luna called. “We’re playing Invisible Dragon Tag!” Barnaby watched them, a small smile playing on his lips.